Have I mentioned POP TARTS yet?

No? Then read on.

UNFROSTED is the name of Jerry Seinfeld’s latest movie. It concerns the fictional history of how POP TARTS were invented.

It’s beyond silly but I watched it all the way through because, hey: JERRY SEINFELD.

It features a whole bunch of other stars. Including HUGH GRANT for gosh sakes.

Everyone in the film behaves as if the only reason they’re in front of cameras, wearing neon colours and speaking in cartoony voices is that Seinfeld is their dearest buddy. For him, they’ll do ANYTHING. Anything. Even act in a truly silly movie that’s also pretty funny now and then.

I’d never eaten a pop-tart before, but immediately after watching the movie on Netflix, I ran out and bought a four-pack of Oreo flavoured. The one I ate was so sweet that even I, a certified sugarholic, began to blackout with the sheer sinful deadliness of it.

I haven’t been able to face the remaining three. Nor have I thrown them away yet! They’re edible after all. Like any good little South Asian, I absolutely cannot waste food. I’ll probably wait for about ten years, then gobble all three down at one go, just for the heck of it.

What is a pop-tart, some of you might ask? Well. Think of a samosa. Then flatten it so that it is now rectangular. It resembles a mini-postcard except that it’s about as thick as a Marie biscuit. Then remove whatever was inside the samosa and fill it with something sweet. Such as strawberry jam. Or maybe a white sugary paste with Oreo cookies crumbled into it.

Then stop thinking of samosas altogether because that’s a completely useless comparison.

A pop-tart is a sealed envelope of pastry containing something sweet. It surely cannot be recommended for borderline diabetics such me or maybe even you. But – so what? As with the movie, you eat it ANYWAY.

Then you lie back with a faint smile on your face and your mind gloriously blank.